Thousands protest as SRK (G.One) gives the slip
By the AUTHOR in collaboration with various news agencies.
Mumbai. Hundreds of thousands gathered around the world in various cities protesting against G.One’s superhero costume or rather the lack of it in the form of the customary “chaddi” or the “underwear” as the English speaking population would like to call it.
These demonstrations erupted after the worldwide release of the much-awaited Bollywood movie Ra.One starring Shahrukh Khan (SRK), who is playing the superhero G.One in the movie. The superhero costume, which he wears (and takes two hours to do it) is bereft of the basic of basic clothing for a superhero, the characteristic superhero underwear, the trademark of any traditonal superhero clothing.
International newsagencies reported scenes of violent protest in the form of underwear burning clearly inspired from the popular bra burning movement in the late 60s.
Supporters of the original and real superheroes are demanding that G.One wear the cloth to cover his loins. One protestor in New York was heard saying, ‘This is an insult to the existing superheroes. How can this new one, G.One refuse to wear an underwear?’
Spiderman hanging upside down and flaunting his new self-stitched web underwear commented, ‘As a fellow superhero, I wish G.One all the best. With great power comes great responsibility and all that. However, I would like to advise him that like any superhero he should hide his real identity for protection against enemies. Without underwear you are exposed out there G.One.’
More protest was heard across the world as the “U” word went viral.
Cha Dee, a garment factory owner from Guangzhou, China said, ‘Nee Hao!! We make undies. All the big brands outsource to our factories here. We clothe the world. G.One bad influence. Bad for business.’
Just like the Arab spring revolt which started with an innocuous Facebook update “lets go to Tahrir ”, this movement also had almost similar roots with this update on Facebook, “lets get our undies” and immediately it gave birth to the largest global demonstration on a common issue ever seen in the world.
The porn industry too has jumped in. Playmates have announced that they will not wear any clothes till G.One covers himself. Hugh Hefner, the flamboyant playboy and owner of Playboy has called the costume and SRK as “downright indecent.”
With these protests on the rise and increasing threat to SRK, security has been beefed up around him. He has now been branded Very Indecent Person (VIP) and the respective security cover I-class has been provided to him.
When asked this thorny question on the lack of clothing, the producers of Ra.One responded maintaining that they went bankrupt making and marketing the movie and therefore didn’t have enough money left to clothe SRK properly.
This has initiated a huge humanitarian effort in the form of the “cloth”, which is being sent to SRK’s home from all across the world. FCUK (Friends of Clothes and Underwears Kommittee) have even sent designer underwears.
In all this noise, SRK has decided to remain silent and not comment on the matter. However, he did say this (in brief), ‘I will let the audience decide based on my performance and not based on my k…k…k…klothes.’
After hearing this, his old rival (the Beefy.One who shouts all the time in films) with his typical I-knew-it-all-along demeanor seems to have said reminding everyone including G.One, ‘yeh, andar ki baat hai.’
(Disclaimer: The usual one….author’s views only, copyright, coincidental blah blah blah…)